A Meditation on Pi

The closest I ever got to a tiger, Cambodia, 2007

I saw The Life of Pi on Sunday. I have not read the book on which it is based. I was immediately impressed by the visual beauty of every frame, the performance of Suraj Sharma, the young actor who plays Pi as a teenager, and how the story is such a perfect allegory about my personal experience of the spiritual journey.

In the days since, the end of the movie keeps coming back to me. I am astounded at how my life, like the lives of many companions, parallels the movie. And the ending haunts me.

You may well ask why, after of two hours of the psychedelic beauty of a pilgrim's progress on the high seas with a Bengal tiger, I was most moved by the scenes in the kitchen between the young writer and the middle aged Pi? The answer, as best I can formulate it, is that I know the heartbreaking challenge of putting together a life after you get off the boat and Richard Parker disappears back into the forest.

The light here is transcendent

The adult Pi, not an ancient seer but a middle-aged man, is played brilliantly by Irrfan Khan. At the beginning of the film he tells the writer that he will tell him his story, and the story will make the writer believe in God. Thus begins the stunning and terrible journey of the younger Pi. He is torn from his home, loses his family in a shipwreck where he and a few animals are the sole survivors, and endures over a year drifting on a tiny raft, attached to a lifeboat, inhabited by a Bengal Tiger that was once in his family's zoo.

Ang Lee magnificently recreates that wondrous tale in awe inspiring 3D images narrated by both the adult Pi and his younger self. Richard Parker, the tiger is a CGI evocation of divine force. It is a story of heartbreak, despair, thrilling adventure, and unspeakable beauty that ends in a suburban kitchen in Toronto. With a family, and a teaching position, and maple cabinets, and a deep sadness in the eyes.

On the Lyken Trail, late afternoon

The young Pi was fascinated by religions. Born a Hindu, he studied and embraced all faiths much to the exasperation of his father. He seeks to understand the soul in everything including the tiger Richard Parker in his zoo. When he is torn from everything safe and familiar and thrown into the ocean with a life-threatening companion that would have no compunction about devouring Pi. For a year they ride the high seas and Pi experiences the wonder, awe, terror, fear, beauty, despair, ecstasy, surrender, and finally, love. With side servings of sharks, storms, and immense physical suffering.

Miracle of miracles they eventually make land in Mexico. They get off the boat. Richard Parker walks into the jungle. He doesn't look back. He doesn't say goodbye. Pi goes on to create a life for himself in the real world. There is no witness to his incredible journey or his companion. And as seemingly benign and comfortable as that life is, there is no Richard Parker. Talk to Leda after the swan left. Or Ganymede after the eagle flew off. Anyone who has been touched by a god knows how Pi felt – but they can't explain it. You have to go there.

I am many years older than Pi. My dance with the tiger went on for over two decades. SInce the tiger walked back into the jungle, I have constructed (or let manifest) a comfortable, somewhat adventurous life. A lot of running around attempting to solve the conundrum, what do you do with the rest of the day? After the tiger goes back into the jungle.

The day after tomorrow I move into a new apartment here in Palm Springs. I am quite happy with the space and am looking forward to unpacking my things, at this point mostly art, and souvenirs from my travels. I will continue my efforts to manifest an interesting and sustainable life. In the absence of the tiger.

There are some people out there that know exactly what I am crypto-babbling about. I understand if you don't understand, or care to. The thing about dancing with a tiger is you and the tiger are the only ones who know what it's like or if it even happened. You can't properly put it into words, and the tiger walked back into the jungle never to be witnessed.  

◆◆◆

A few visual non sequiturs to close out the post, and an invitation to visit my facebook page (Like me, really like me) and my new website promoting my latest efforts to manifest an interesting and sustainable life.

A little shameless self-promotion

Malificent and the monster - Halloween on Arenas Road

Two months and no blog entries. What have I been up to?

Well, I've been dealing with my living situation for one thing. The condo I've been renting is going on the market so it's time to find more permanent digs where I can get my things out of storage and create my own space. Knock on wood, I found a lovely one-bedroom apartment in the Smoke Tree area of Palm Springs that is not in walking distance of the touristy part of Palm Springs, but very convenient to everything else. God willing, and if the creek don't rise, I'll be in the new place by the 15th of December. It will be good to have my stuff around me again.

Palm Springs Pride, 2012

I've also been wrestling with a few angels.

Another chapter missing from the non-existent Dummy's Guide to Subsistence Retirement is the answer to the age-old question, "what do you do with the rest of the day?" Truth be told, I'm getting a little bored with retirement and I could definitely use some additional income. My current cash flow covers the basics, but there's little left over to feed my travel addiction.

Doug Graham and Charles Herrera in Gender Benders at
Azul

This move, and the unplanned expense of a new car will just about deplete my mad money fund. In Sarasota, I was fortunate enough to pick-up the occasional freelance job doing computer tutoring, and writing. I'm hoping to do the same here while throwing photography and event planning into the mix. I am presenting myself as a digital scribe. To quote from my website: Throughout the centuries, scribes have provided a menu of services for those wishing to communicate effectively: writing, editing, and illuminating manuscripts, painting a portrait to send to a potential suitor, arranging celebrations. The the artist, the scrivener, the cloistered monk, the master of revels, the jongleur – all served an important role in their time – to help people present themselves and their ideas in the best possible light.

I have done event planning throughout my career. I've done trade shows, industrial shows, customer events, incentive meetings, parties, and even weddings.

I've been doing photography for years for my own enjoyment but lately I've done some event and performance photos that turned out well enough that I want to explore doing some work professionally.

Jerome Elliott in Standing on Ceremony,
The Gay Marriage Plays

Toward that end, I've created a website TCB Digital, that offers a few samples of my work and links to several other examples on the Internet. I've been accused of not being very good at putting myself out there, and I have always been more comfortable promoting others than myself. So, against my nature, I'm throwing it out to the universe - and anyone who reads this - that I am a digital scribe available for hire. In addition to the website, I've created a page on Facebook and have revamped my Smugmug site for people who might be interested in my photographic skills.

Does this mean that Wanderlust is going away? I don't think so. I hope it will evolve into a complement to my other ventures in communicating on the Internet. If you have some free time, I hope you'll check out my website. And, of course, should you need the services of a digital scribe, I hope you'll keep me in mind.